Blogasm

No ones blogging! :'(

So I will :)

This week's recommendations:

Artist: Mariana's Trench

Named after an ocean trench in the Pacific Ocean, this is the perfect band for geographers everywhere! They're Canadian, and they're very good :) Here are some examples:

their most famous song :

The song I was singing earlier today (with the epic video ^^):

Song: To The Sky (Owl City)

The soundtrack to the new owl-based blockbuster 'The Guardians of Ga'Hoole' that we've all heard of (right?).

TV Show: House M.D

Starring the quite frankly epic Hugh Laurie, House is the most popular TV show in the world. Laurie needs 24 hour protection when i walks around the US....but hands up if you knew who he was before this! *waves hand frantically*

Yeah, i didnt have anything to write about so...yeah.

Ax

TB (A Terrible Disease)

So.

Tony Blair has a book out.

Oh come on! You all knew this was coming! You just didn't know when I'd snap!

I was on amazon.com, peacefully minding my own business, browsing through the works of various esteemed intellectuals such as Stephen Hawking (who is actually a really good writer, with a very good sense of humour) and Stephen Fry (OK, you got me! I just searched the name Stephen :P) and what popped up in the recommendations? Yep you guessed it!: A beginners guide to Kama Sutra.

Not really. Although as we all know, Tony Blair and his toad of a wife don't need any of that to get it on! All they need is a Royal invitation! Honestly, he has no shame. I almost pity Gordon Brown for having to put up with him.

Almost.

Now, I can't pass judgement on it, because I've never read it, and I never plan to, and according to my own principles, I can't pass judgement on it :/

Then again, principles don't really apply for Tony Blair do they?...

'THISISTHESHITTESTPIECEOFSHITTHATIHAVEEVERHADTHEFORTUNENOTTOREADANDICAN'TBELIEVEITSBEENPUBLISHEDACTUALLYYESICANBECAUSEIPROBABLYDIDNTWRITEBECAUSEHESANUNETHICALUNWASHEDGREASYSLIMEBALLWITHNOCONSCIENCENOMORALSANDNOSENSEOFRESPONSABILITY'...*breathe*...'ALLHETHINKSABOUTISHOWMANYTIMESHESBANGEDHISWIFEATBALMORALANDHOWFUCKINGINNOCENTHEISWENITCOMESTOIRAQTHEWARMONGERINGSONOFABITCH!!

If you managed to decipher that, you get a cookie.

In fact, if you even attempted it, you get a cookie.

Ventage over, have a nice day.

A x

Unatal

Unatal: relatively sane this one...an operation one undergoes that involves sticking a long tube into version places that should never EVER see the light of day.

You know what? I'm going to tweet these in future... cos these posts are stupidly short :/

Mismet

Now, I quite like this one ^^

Mismet: (1) to me, this sounds like a title (like sultan). 'I am the mismet of Saudi Arabia and i eat sheeps brains', for example. (2) Or a small animal, a bit like that weird thing in 'The Road To El Dorado'. A possum I think it was...called Marmaduke. The mismet i mean, not the possum. Although that might have been his name ^^

Docombil

I've decided I'm going to write a list of those word things i wrote about a few posts ago.

The latest one is 'docombil'.

Now, I'm going to come up with a definition of it :) I will do this for everyone that I have to type in to do something :)

Docombil: I searched it and google came up with a Japanese phone company called docomobile. I therefore conclude that docombil is a Japanese bill company, that specialises in animal's bills, for example, the duck-billed platypus. It sells them at very reasonable rates, and you don't have to pay for the first year!

HA! if you type animal bill into google it comes up with a picture of Bill Kaulitz cuddling a koala bear :P

Cooking

Cooking. It's surprisingly relaxing :) I hate cake, yet I have made 2 cakes this evening. A carrot cake, and an apple cake. Yummy :/

Luckily, during said cooking, I ranted at my mum, so you won't have to endure that this evening :P

I simply wanted to give you this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2Hwv1EbCkk&feature=channel

Tis, the second installment of the twilight thing I linked in the last post :) Yay XD

Anna x

Popsicle

*Uncharacteristically cheery tone* So, hey guys! I haven't written a blog in a while! I've been trying to avoid it because I know that it'll end up like this:

'Heads up! The catholics are coming! AND THEY WANT YOUR BLOOD!! Hide your children and get out your pitchforks!!'

And don't you spellcheck me on how to spell catholics Mr. Internet! I refuse to give catholics a capital! It simply doesn't deserve one!!!

Apart from the obvious comments about that cardinal chap that called jolly old England a third world country, and that he compares Atheism to Nazism (when he himself, and the Pope, were both in Hitler Youth) I really have nothing of any intellectual value to say on the subject of the Pope's visit (other than they're both massive dicks!).

Luckily for you, most of my anger has already been vented on this subject, so if you are as equally irritated by this as my, here's a little something to cheer you up : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qi9GPlsdD5o&feature=player_embedded#!

:D Hope you enjoyed that.

I did.

Hold up! I just found out that not only is this rape-condoning bastard visiting our country, while his mates spew out racial hatred, but we're footing the f*cking bill!!! (sorry about the language) And I say we in the general sense, as I don't pay taxes yet :P. But the principle is the same. To grant the pope a 'state visit' which means it's paid for by the government, and therefore, the taxpayers, is absolutely outrageous! There are hundreds of people in this country that have had their lives ruined by what priests in his order have done, but we have to pay for him to come here and rub it in their faces! Now, I'm not blaming the Pope for raping those people. It wasn't him (apparently), he wasn't Pope at the time and can't be held accountable for it.

However.

He was in charge of punishing those responsible and what did he do?!?!? He told them to pray. Pray for their victims. LIKE THAT'S GONNA DO ANY F*CKING GOOD!! 'Yeah I had my whole life ruined by my priest raping me. Yeah yeah, it scarred me for life. I lost all faith in god. But it's OK now, cause he's prayed for me :D' In no branch of society would this be acceptable! Certainly not in government! Imagine if your local MP was found guilty of raping a child. How long would he keep his job? And (hopefully) how long would he spend in jail? But, if their catholics, IT'S FINE!! Just say sorry!

And not only was their 'punishment' laughable, but they spent years covering it up! They knew about it!!!!! And they did not do a thing to stop it!

Right. Anger vented.

Noodles

Anna x

P.s. This is mainly for Nicola : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2L253VLwH3w

Child

Is this not one of the creepiest things you've ever seen !?!

Poop

Just a heads up: the pope is arriving in Britain in a couple of days, so be prepared for lots of rants about catholics XD

Anna x

P.S. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkHJ2-zoSB4

Spitfire!

Crap! I was all worked up just now! Had something really good to write about. And in the time it took me to press 'New Post' it disappeared...

As a side note, a spitfire is currently circling my house. I don't know what I've done, but apparently it merits sending out military aircraft...

Aha! I remember what it was!!! You know the security things that come up that tell you to write the letters you see in the box below? What are they called?

Anyway...WHY CAN'T THEY USE REAL WORDS?!?! The last one I did said 'ennesses'. WHAT IS THAT?!?! If you're going to force me to waste my life typing useless words into a useless box, at least make it something worth my time!!! A Sartre quote, an extract of French poetry, anything! At least then I may learn something while wasting my energy trying to work out what the meaningless scrawling in front of me says!! You never know, I could be inspired by a line of a John Lennon song and go on to become a philosopher or a resistance leader! BUT NO. You make me write ennesses. This will screw with my future, and ultimately I will blame you for my inevitable failures later in life.

Anna x

P.S http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11fqtALxgmM&feature=channel

Chavs

They are a plague upon our fair nation.

'Chavs' are hard to explain. A phenomenon of evolution that no amount of Darwin-esque analysis will ever be able to comprehend. However, I shall try to dissect their characteristics, and suggest way in which you can deal with assaults from these creatures, and avoid catching this dreadful disease.

Visual:

This is what a chav looks like http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/7456/chav8kf.jpg&imgrefurl=http://img162.imageshack.us/i/chav8kf.jpg/&usg=__7hrcCD6u5EWglHt2WgnQefHclE8=&h=288&w=352&sz=14&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=BL6Ss8hyFR1KYM:&tbnh=143&tbnw=187&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchav%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D897%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=346&vpy=404&dur=1083&hovh=203&hovw=248&tx=144&ty=101&ei=4vyITJrGEIeQ4gaRjv3iAw&oei=4vyITJrGEIeQ4gaRjv3iAw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=35&ved=1t:429,r:15,s:0

They are not difficult to spot. They frequently wear tracksuits, adorn themselves with objects known in their language as 'bling' and are often seen to be wearing hoods, as they are sensitive to light. Unlike vampires however, Chavs are not adverse to UV rays. On the contrary, they enjoy sitting in small rooms (very much like ovens) baking their skin until it becomes a curious shade of orange. Another way of achieving this look, which seems to be a display the female uses to attract a mate, is by spraying the skin with orange Dulux paint (a brand is necessary - can be fake). One characteristic they do share with vampires however, is that they don't sparkle. They are an extremely fertile race, and the females become impregnated as soon as they reach maturity (any age upwards of 8 years old). They all smoke. It is obligatory.

Audio:

If they are within a 500 metre radius of you, YOU WILL HEAR THEM. Their mating calls are one of the loudest noises in the animal kingdom, and are unmistakable. Popular phrases include 'oit init bruvv', 'wicked blud' and other early evolutionary grunts (N/B. Chavs have close genetic ties with early human life, particularly Neanderthals).

How to react when confronted by 'a Chav':

There are several methods of how to react to 'chav assault'. The first method is to bow your head and keep walking until you pass the area of danger. If you use this method you must remember NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT. This aggravates them and they become aggressive. This method is most popular, but if you are a rugby player, a karate expert or simply incredibly large, then direct confrontation is a more suitable method. You should only attempt this if you feel as if you could win a fight, and if you haven't seen any other chavs. The group you attack may well have back-up nearby, as they find security in numbers.

Avoiding 'Chavism':

There is one simple way of avoiding this disease. Don't do any of the things mentioned above

otherwise emos will come and eat your soul >:)

Anna x

P.s. This is a mocking of stereotypes and is not intended to be offensive.

...

Well, it is a little bit. I just don't want to get knifed :)

Religion

So. I was watching this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYd-sU9aL78

and this was posted as a video response: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tG1cgp-W9E4&feature=watch_response

Now, I don't know what relevance this has to nerimon's video. All I know is that it made me VERY annoyed!

It mention's the 'common sense' of contraception, the 'right' to abortion, and the 'equality' of homosexual relationships.

At first glance, this seems like innocent ignorance. This person has led a sheltered life, probably reads the bible before they go to bed...but it goes so much deeper than that! Millions of people across the globe believe this. They believe that common sense is not only useless, but an affront to nature, that human rights are irrelevant, and that equality is something reserved for career driven atheists 'in no hurry to commit'.

This is a comment posted on the video (One that I unfortunately gave in to replying to) : 'The Bible doesn'thave flying lizard ppl. It has hard core facts that havebeen proven over and over and over again. There are plenty of eye witness testimony, and not to mention the ancient cencus records.'

Key words being 'hard core facts', 'proven', 'eye witness testimony' and 'ancient census records'. If any has access to any of these, please let me know. However I sincerely doubt that you do.

I'm unreasonably angry right now.

Now, I'm not religious. At all. I reserve my belief for something that I find plausible and inspiring. However, I will never find those in Christianity. Actually no, I will never find that in Catholicism. And it's not even the basic beliefs that I have an issue with. It's the people. Having faith in something is not a bad thing. Having blind faith in something, however, most definitely is. If you can't see the faults in something, how can you ever come to truly understanding something, or in fact, someone? Most Catholics have blind faith in God, and in their leaders. Leaders that encourage people that are impoverished and poor to give money to the church, so that the ceiling of the Vatican can be coated in gold leaf and turquoise, while people die of malnutrition because they gave what little money they had to their church. Which spends it on child porn. But that's a whole other rant, which I'll put aside for myself sometime ^^

I just wanted to let off some steam :)

Now I shall return to being the less than eloquent teenager that I usually am :)

Bysie bye x

P.s. If you're reading this, PLEASE reply. I'd love to know you're opinions :)